Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
