ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im holly from the hills drunk
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize