at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
