Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
