We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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