everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
