I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
