Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
