I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
