I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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