Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
