My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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