Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
