Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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