i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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