census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
