It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
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Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.