I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.