Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

I feel like half our conversations start this way.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(925): View more from California

We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro

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(415): View more from California

When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?

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(606): View more from Kentucky

If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.

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(806): View more from Texas

First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".

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