I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!