I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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