no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
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I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
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If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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