I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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