My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
