WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
