When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
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so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
there is puke in my bra ... again
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