she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
