I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
