he thought i was a dude.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
