yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
