a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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