Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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