We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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