I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
