Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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