does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
