so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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