Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
