But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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