Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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