i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
