Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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