It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
