i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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