Your tits are I can't wait for
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
