and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
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Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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