Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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