so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
