You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize