im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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