walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
