I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
