I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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