OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
