I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize