you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize