I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
