Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
