overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
