There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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