just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
