I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
