alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
