I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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