ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
