I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
