Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
