how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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