i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
