ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
