So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
